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Kristina’s Baking Disasters #1726494

Banana bread (without the banana…)

Before I begin, can we have a word about the use of the word ‘bread’ here? Should we be calling this bread? The Oxford Dictionary definition of bread is:

  1. food made of flour, water, and yeast mixed together and baked.

 There ain’t no yeast in banana bread huns! It’s a bloody cake! Thank you.

I had planned to jump on the banana CAKE bandwagon this weekend, but my bananas aren’t ripe enough yet, despite the fact I’ve had them in a paper bag all week. I had my heart set on cake, so I decided I’d just make the banana CAKE without the banana…

I found this banana bread recipe via thekitchn.com, and decided I’d adapt it slightly, and add both walnuts and grated chocolate (grated instead of chips as I don’t know how to stop chocolate chips from sinking to the bottom…). I’ve made chocolate and walnut cakes like this in the past and they came out fine. Here’s how this one went…

Shit. Look at the state of it. Anyone with half a brain could have predicted it wasn’t going to work but my brain doesn’t work the same as other people’s! ‘What’s the worst that can happen?!’ is a mantra I seem to live by but rarely learn from!

I forgot to put in the bicarbonate of soda but realized this before I put the tin in the oven, so I managed to quickly swirl it in. At this point my main concern was that it wouldn’t raise, so I was delighted when I returned from my daily government-approved outside exercise to find that had risen.

It looked a bit burnt, but as I’d put chocolate shavings into the mixture I had hoped that it was just melted chocolate that made it look like that. I had also hoped that it would be moist because of the chopped walnuts.

After letting it cool in the tin for about ten minutes and again on a rack out of the tin for about the same amount of time, I cut a slice and gave it a try.

It was moist. It was a bit dense though, possibly slightly underbaked. It was also bland. I let him have a try, and we agreed it needed jazzing up a bit, so I melted the remainder of the Lindt Dark with Sea Salt with some butter and attempted to drizzle it over the top, sprinkled some nuts on the top and hoped for the best…

Here’s a short list of some of the comments I received after he tried it:

  • It tastes like a loaf of Hovis with a bit of chocolate on top
  • Shall I go to the shop and get a dessert?
  • Shop bought desserts from now on (this one came after I said that I should have just made that Jaffa Cake cheesecake instead)
  • I’ll take over the cooking from here. You never get a bad meal out of me!

I don’t think he liked it.

And I honestly cannot blame him. It was just so shit.

I will try again, following the recipe in full, and let you know how I get on second time around!